I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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