I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
