She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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