I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
