You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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