Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
