My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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