my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just google imaged poop.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
