Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
