I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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