I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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