so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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