I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
