Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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