I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it's like iHOP with fire
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
