Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
