it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
