best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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