you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
