she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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