I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
