I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
