My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
