I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
