You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
