I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
