i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
