I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
