mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and she was petting her beer can
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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