let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
