I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
