he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
