i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
