Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
