It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
