Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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