I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
