Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
