Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
