please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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