I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
