3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
