How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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