we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
