She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
