I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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