there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
