I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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