Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
