You're my little dorito
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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